The Naked Kiss (1964) is a Sam Fuller neo-noir. It's trash. The film, about a prostitute trying to go straight, is mildly entertaining and, even, gathers some power toward its end, but the movie's dialogue and acting are laughably bad. The picture is made with zero money and looks as cheap as it is. The casting seems to have occurred at a suburban used car dealership -- the men all look smarmy, like caricatures of handsome fellows, but, on closer inspection, nothing much; the women, particularly the lead, Constance Towers, looks like a harlot, which is good I suppose given the film's subject matter, but she can't act and when, inspected closely (and Fuller uses big, unflattering close-ups) is not just unattractive but sort of ugly. (Towers later became an acclaimed stage actress and won several awards for her acting and, so, I don't mean to be ungallant -- but a stage actress is a figure viewed from afar.) In my opinion, The Naked Kiss is not just trash, but, not even, trash of a high order. Sure, it's well-directed and has an ingenious, if implausible, script (also written by Fuller) but I can't make any particular claims of excellence, or, even, competency for this film.
That said, the narrative is lurid to the point that it would engage the attention of a rock or a sober labrador retriever. A prostitute in a wig beats up a man, slamming him across the face with her purse that must contain stones or something. She knocks him to the ground -- the assault is filmed big close-ups with the enraged whore beating at the camera with her black purse; we see the attack from the POV of its victim. Not content to knock the poor devil on his ass, the whore sprays him with a seltzer bottle (a nice touch I thought), kicks him in the ribs and, then, loots his wallet, pulling out 75 dollars owed to her, but leaving another 800 scattered around him on the floor. In the course of the assault, the victim grabs the whore's wig and pulls it off, revealing her to be totally bald, her head shaven clean. After some blaring music and credits, the whore appears at a bus station in a suburban town called Grantsville, the place named after its leading citizen and benefactor, a manufacturer named Grant who has donated money for a children's orthopedic hospital located in the village. This is nice suburban town but, across the river, from a hellhole said to be an open city. The prostitute encounters a corrupt cop who hangs around the bus station surveying the scene for bad actors coming into his nice, clean town. The cop, named Griff, accosts the prostitute who is under cover, soliciting johns in the guise of a traveling champagne sales(wo)man. Griff tries out the merchandise, both the wine and the girl, and, then, tells her to hit the road -- go across the river, he says, to the prosperous local madame's brothel, "Candy's Place." (The first 15 minutes of this ninety-minute film deploys an almost constant stream of risibly raw double entendres.) Instead of going to Candy's whorehouse, the prostitute becomes a nursing attendant at the local children's orthopedic hospital. She works with typically cute and photogenic waifs and achieves an excellent reputation as a compassionate and caring nurse. In this role, she is introduced to Griff's son, the handsome scion of the Grant fortune; predictably enough, he falls in love with the ex-whore and, indeed, proposes marriage -- they will have a "white wedding" and a honeymoon in Venice. Griff, appalled by the relationship, orders the prostitute to leave town but she refuses -- she has already confessed her checkered past to Grant -- and calls her fiancee in Griff's presence to prove her point. Griff apologizes. Meanwhile, one of the nurses at the hospital, unable to bear the stress of working with badly disabled children, decides to become a prostitute. She gets an advance from the loathsome Candy. The ex-whore, learning about this, goes to the brothel, beats "the fucking shit" (to quote the President of the United States) out of the Madam, using her handy bludgeon of a black purse. She, then, stuffs the Madam's mouth with banknotes. The heroine has been living with a kindly seamstress. The seamstress makes her a beautiful wedding dress with a fabulous white veil. She takes the wedding dress and veil to Grant's house, interrupting her wealthy betrothed while he is sexually molesting a six-year old girl. The ex-whore, who has a bad temper, beats the pedophile to death with the phone receiver -- the veil floats down to cover the pedophile's dead face. Of course, she tossed in jail and accused of murder. She claims that she killed Grant because he had been sexually abusing a child, but can't identify the little kid and doesn't know her name. Needless to say, Griff who is holding her in jail, condemns her for the killing and refuses to believe her story. The Madam, Candy, whose whores are called "Bon-bons", comes to the jail to accuse the heroine of wanton violence, referring to the assault at her whorehouse. The nurse whose transgression triggered the attack denies that she received an advance for sexual services from Candy -- she's ashamed to admit that she was about to become a whore herself. There are some additional complications, including a visit from the heroine's former pimp (called a "tout" or "procurer" in the film's sixties-style stilted dialogue) who says that the ex-whore beat him up too and stole his money. (It turns out that when she tried to quit his "stable", the tout knocked her out and shaved her head bald.) In the end, the ex-whore identifies the little girl who was Grant's victim and, I guess, all's well that end's well. The heroine's manslaughter with telephone receiver is, apparently, forgiven by everyone in the town and, when she is released from jail, the townsfolk come out to applaud her. Nonetheless, according to the Wikipedia plot summary, she takes the next bus out of town -- this is patently untrue: she apparently misses the bus which drives by her as she walks determinedly down the street with her valise full of champagne bottles.
The movie is garish. with a few unsettling scenes: Grant's confession to the ex-prostitute that he intends to marry her because they are "both abnormal" -- that is, he intends her as a "beard" for his perversions is interesting and affecting. Similarly, the little girl's confession of the sexual abuse, although reticent is very well-done. But the movie is a grotesque combination of super-hard boiled action and dialogue and hideous sentimentality. The little crippled kids, close-ups emphasizing their cute miniature crutches, perform sad little songs and dress as play-pirates. The town's "old virgin", the seamstress keeps a mannequin in her house wearing her own fiancee's uniform and war medals as well as a big Red One, signifying the man was a member of Fuller's unit in World War Two, the 16th Infantry Regiment First Infantry Division -- I assume the medals on the mannequin are Fuller's own (he received a Purple Heart, Bronze Star and just every other combat medal available for his service in the war.) Of course, Charley, the old maiden's betrothed, didn't make it back from Europe and both the seamstress and the ex-whore confide their worries and concerns to the mannequin in soliloquies that are truly hideous to behold. The ending is fairly suspenseful. But, even on the level of accomplished trash, the movie fails. One of the prostitutes in Candy's brothel is an accomplished karate expert -- she knocks out a john with a single well-placed karate chop. So where is the big cat-fight between the heroine and the whore with the Black Belt? The scene is shamefully missing from the story. Similarly, it would be great if the heroine's bald head at the start of the film had been shaven to apply electrodes for execution in the electric chair. Furthermore, the film is rife with anti-prostitution speeches. The picture doesn't draw the obvious conclusion from the squalid proceedings -- prostitution shouldn't be denounced but legalized. Come on, Sam, have the courage of your tawdry convictions!